Introspection
by Another Anonymous Annoyance
Summary: Kakashi has a moment of introspection after just becoming Hokage.


**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO.**

* * *

He had always been alone.

Ever since he had been younger and didn't have the reputation that he had now.

Even with the sudden, and sometimes unwelcome inclusion of teachers and students, rivals and enemies, there was always a

distinct feeling of being alone.

It wasn't something many would be able to understand. Minato-sensei had come close, Sasuke had been even closer.

But...

But there was always that but.

He supposed that, with the way things had turned out, It was unlikely that anyone would come even that close to understanding.

That feeling of standing apart from your peers in the centre of the crowd, of being included, but of there being a subtle barrier, barely there. Keeping you apart.

It was different in a way, from the complete isolation that Naruto had experienced, different again from the self-imposed isolation of Sasuke, and far from the bullying that had a hand in forming Sakura into the person she was now.

It wasn't anything as noticeable as that. A downturn of the eyes. A slight hunch into a bow, quickly aborted. A look of jealousy, awe, recognition, hatred, fear, all turning  
away when he turns his attention towards them.

Most of it not even conscious actions.

When he was younger, before he had joined the academy, the barrier had been just as present. Thinner in places, but being the son of such a great and powerful shinobi, respected by even his enemies, comes with its own complications.

Even more after said shinobi was gone.

The expectations people had of him. Even when he tried, as much as could, to be as different as he could be from the White Fang of Konoha. He only seemed to meet their

expectations. Their beliefs. Fears. And people don't even notice most of their expectations.

After a while, after several years in ANBU, He almost found it comical. For as much as people expected you to meet their expectations, many of them were also waiting, wanting for you to fail. Just so they could say "I knew he'd end up like that", or "Just like his father". He found a sport in acting like the most unlikely person in the world to meet those expectations, and still doing so, effortlessly.

That didn't change the fact that he was alone though. When it came down to it, he didn't truly have 'friends'. He had comrades. People for whom he would readily die for. Kill for. But not friends. Gai came close, but Gai was a force entirely of his own. His closest comrade. Who was always there in the background (shouting something about youth and hipness and being far too energetic for his liking) when he didn't need to be. Like Minato-sensei had tried to be, even with all his duties getting in the way.

Still, for all this, for all the way he acts, for all these expectations. There was, is, one thing that won't ever change.

He, Hatake Kakashi, is a genius. In every sense of the word. And he's not even bragging. Not even slightly. Genius, true genius is something that comes along only once in a life time, it's beyond being a genius of taijutsu or intelligence or hard work.

It's comprehending a thousand and one things in the blink of an eye and using them to his advantage. It's memorising over a thousand jutsu and knowing when and where to use them. It's learning how to use a kekkei genkai without being genetically pre-disposed towards it. It's being not just proficient but a master of all his chosen pursuits, taijutsu, genjustu, kinjutsu, ninjutsu.

And for all this. People still find fault.

He still finds it amusing. After all these years. Even after finally donning the Hokage's mantle (and Naruto's reaction to

that, well...) People still manage to do it. And they look so triumphant. It's almost heart breaking to burst their bubble.

Really. _It is_.

He meets all their expectations, always has. It's rather hard not to. So when they come along saying, "Favouritism! Favouritism! You always looked to Sasuke first! Ignored both Naruto and Sakura!" He only gives them a smile and a "Mah, mah look at the time" and leaves to laugh himself to pieces alongside his Ninken.

After all. They only look at the big bits, the pieces they can see. The common knowledge bits. The underneath.

They don't look at the way that Sakura first started to learn her amazing strength under him. That before Tsunade she was able to use a mast (of all things) as a weapon.

They don't look at the way that for Naruto to have so much trouble with his chakra after Orochimaru had sealed it, he had to know how to use it before hand. Or that for Jiraya to get such results after training Naruto for only a month, Naruto had to have the basics learned already (And teaching Naruto those didn't take long _at all_...)

That Sasuke left because he felt _he_ was the one not getting enough training. Despite being trained personally for a month. (He never did learn how to share.)

That, despite everything, both Naruto and Sakura had such difficulties calling him sempai, instead of sensei. (Not that he should be one to talk.)

So he laughs, and laughs, and when he sees those who try to point fault again he has to hold in his chuckles.

Because he knows from their faces that someone (Gai or Naruto or Sakura or even Sasuke) has set them straight.

And he knows that for all he may be alone on the top of the world. There are those who would drag him down to walk along side them.


End file.
